In April 2022, we organised our first online conference on “Abuse and Harassment in the Cyber Space: Beyond the Perceptions of Main Stream.” This conference included 12 Instagram Live sessions, and two panel discussions broadcasted live on YouTube. Since then, it has been a long time, but we have strapped on our boots again and are ready to go. Our conference saw two panels of six members, each from different spheres of life with varied experiences. These panel discussions had one common theme: panel members had the courage and bravery to accept their truth and advocate for an inclusive and non-discriminatory society. 

We will publish a series of articles in the next few weeks. These articles convey the outcomes of major talking points discussed in the panel discussions. They cover the thoughts of our esteemed panellists, opinions, newspaper articles, and relevant research. Through this research, we seek to present an understanding of various issues faced by the queer community. Alongside this, we hope to suggest possible recommendations and interventions by different stakeholders to create an inclusive environment for the community. 

The Cyber Blog India welcomes any queries and recommendations from our readers and fellow stakeholders.

Introduction

We live in a world where most people do not recognise queer individuals as equals or provide them with the requisite love and affection. As a result, it is very easy for them to fall into the world of online dating. They tend to jump at the opportunity when they feel someone giving them the love and respect they deserve. However, as our panellists reiterated, there is a reason to be cautious about one’s well-being and safety on dating websites. While it remains true that people do get lucky on these apps, one’s safety is of utmost importance. Like any other online service, online dating has its plus points, such as people finding their community and becoming friends if not partners.

Despite having a general stereotype of just being a platform meant for sexual expenditures, it is also a place where people can network and find help through others. It remains true though it is a dangerous place for queer individuals. In this article, we map different instances of catfishing and extortion that have taken place via dating apps. Moreover, we also underlined some safety tips from our panellists to follow while dating online.

Instances

During the panel discussion, Patruni narrated their personal experience on dating apps. They mentioned a blackmail incident using pictures they sent to someone they knew from the app. The perpetrator threatened Patruni and was trying to extort them. Without any self-doubt, they went to the police and registered a complaint. However, instances like these are not rare in the online queer dating circle.

Another panellist, Pearl, shared that they have had experiences where men have catfished as women to get to them. Gazal narrated an instance of a transgirl she knows. The 19-year-old girl worked at a tea stall, and her family did not support her. She connected to someone online. This person told her to meet him in another city. He met the girl and, subsequently, ran away with her phone and other possessions.

In the last couple of years, the police has arrested multiple sextortion gangs. These gangs create fake profiles on queer dating apps, lure people in, and record their videos in compromising positions. In some cases, they even force the victim to perform. Thereafter, they use these videos to blackmail the victims for money.

Following such incidents, Grindr, a popular queer dating app, reiterated its zero discrimination policy. The platform stated that it was looking for ways to curb abusive behaviour on its platform. A TOI Report covers a survey that reported 94 out of 133 participants reporting physical, financial, and emotional violence while using queer dating apps. 64 participants faced violence at least once during these encounters. More than half of them did not even tell their friends or family members about these incidents.

Some queer dating apps have started verifying accounts to safeguard users from anonymous profiles. For instance, Delta, India’s first homegrown queer dating app, has a feature known as trust score. This trust score depends on how many social media platforms a user links with their profile and how many messages they receive. This idea can help users know if a particular account is credible.

Suggestions

One’s safety should be prioritised before anything else. Hence, dating apps need to step up and take responsibility and accountability. At the same time, individuals need to take measures for their safety. During our discussions, panellists gave the audience various safety tips for online dating apps. One thing that everyone agreed on is that an individual must trust their gut whenever they are talking to a person online or meeting them. If one feels something is wrong, they do not need to proceed further. They should trust this feeling and act accordingly for their safety. Mohammed, our panellist, emphasised the importance of researching dating apps for their privacy policy, community guidelines, and reporting mechanisms. The next step after joining is to only interact with verified profiles. Despite this, there are chances that one may get catfished, although the chances decrease significantly.

Another panellist, Shruti, underlined that people do not need to share their sensitive personal information just because they have matched with another person. If the other person is forcing you to share such information, you should consider it a forewarning and be cautious. Our panellists also suggested that one should always meet people from dating apps in public places. Before meeting them, one should verify for their number on apps like Truecaller. This should be followed by checking their other social media profiles to check the person’s authenticity.

Mohammed also recommended informing their friends or family where they are going. They can also share information about the person they are meeting and their live location. Ideally, one should have some friends close by during their dates at the place where they are meeting people from the apps.

Pearl said that an invitation to one’s date place can often be an ambush to abuse or rob. They stressed that if something happened to anyone, the victim must report the incident to the police without fear. One can also take up help from NGOs and support groups to report such incidents, as they are of great help. It is also essential to report and flag the profiles of those undertaking these criminal activities via dating apps. This will help not just the dating apps but also other users to cull out the predators.

Conclusion

We have seen that one can ensure safety while using online dating apps. However, this does not exonerate dating apps from creating a safer platform for their users. Other stakeholders, such as law enforcement, civil society organisations, and NGOs, also have a role to play. Usually, when a dating app receives a report against a profile, it either issues a warning or, at the most, bans the profile. Many platforms often believe this notion that having community guidelines and privacy policies would discharge them of their liability and accountability. More often than not, these policies do not have any real-life repercussions.

Dating apps can do a couple of things to ensure a safer platform. The first can be displaying a warning on profiles reported by other users and the reasons for the reports. This will help other users be careful while interacting with that person. Another suggestion can be reporting repeat offenders to the police so that they can conduct a thorough investigation. Dating apps can also support victims in filing a report against the offenders who have committed the crimes through their platform.